"Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"

A 75 year old man went to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Bring me back a sample tomorrow."

The next day he brings back the empty jar & explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried, with nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door, but nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

"Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"